sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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