OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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