NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
