She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ttyl tear gas
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
