I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just tell him i said nine months
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
