it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
