I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize