then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
