One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
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Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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