im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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