yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
