They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
