thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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