i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
