i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
