...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
