Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize