I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
