I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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