I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Bring me that man meat
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.