Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY

(614): View more from Ohio

handstands? WTF?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

she was a gymnast

(614): View more from Ohio

go to hell.

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(405): I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY (614): handstands? WTF? (405): she was a gymnast (614): go to hell. http://tfl.nu/pyfe

Replies (9) Good night (2763) Bad night (436)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

(573): View more from Missouri

Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

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(314): Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead. (573): Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what. http://tfl.nu/rrcf

Replies (8) Good night (1348) Bad night (398)
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(810): View more from Michigan

i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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(810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7

Replies (19) Good night (4101) Bad night (540)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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(973): pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy http://tfl.nu/hiwh

Replies (10) Good night (1208) Bad night (2859) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...

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(207): Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight... http://tfl.nu/a8ub

Replies (25) Good night (3573) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Happy Birthday

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(541): I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry. (1-541): Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/2hsd

Replies (14) Good night (3519) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.

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(678): I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice. http://tfl.nu/ukpc

Replies (17) Good night (1225) Bad night (4578) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed

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(206): My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed http://tfl.nu/sgs1

Replies (19) Good night (3621) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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(954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr

Replies (4) Good night (3728) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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(217): Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty. http://tfl.nu/eut4

Replies (9) Good night (637) Bad night (1839) Order T-Shirt
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(765): View more from Indiana

I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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(765): I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/jw9u

Replies (17) Good night (717) Bad night (4082) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

hungover and i feel like a burrito

(1-850): View more from Florida

like eating one or like you are one?

(850): View more from Florida

like i am one.

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(850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242

Replies (10) Good night (2171) Bad night (538)
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(509): View more from Washington

also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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(509): also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight. http://tfl.nu/qnxk

Replies (10) Good night (853) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.

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(805): I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights. http://tfl.nu/b17v

Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

(201): View more from New Jersey

I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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(314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf

Replies (4) Good night (1063) Bad night (275)

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