Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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