My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize