I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
