i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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