Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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