hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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