I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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