I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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