Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
