Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
