Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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