Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
