I don't think brook has ever known best
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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