its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
