you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver