College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
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now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?