conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
