I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
