she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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