Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
