Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
