Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
