Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Drake has all the answers
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
