if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
