Already got asked if we're dating
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
