is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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