hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
be right there i have to get my cape
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
