you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.