I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard