Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.

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  (443): i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week. http://tfl.nu/k6qn
  Replies (52) Good night (4672) Bad night (5868)
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  (858): View more from California

  i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..

  (720): View more from Colorado

  yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures

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  (858): i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume.. (720): yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures http://tfl.nu/ebwm
  Replies (7) Good night (3007) Bad night (597)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?

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  (309): I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got? http://tfl.nu/v486
  Replies (20) Good night (814) Bad night (1955)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (4155) Bad night (1324)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

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  (402): when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case" http://tfl.nu/zxvf
  Replies (15) Good night (4523) Bad night (4001)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  it's a Wednesday?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  :)

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  (419): I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone. (1-419): it's a Wednesday? (419): :) http://tfl.nu/grqr
  Replies (4) Good night (3147) Bad night (949)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Career choice validated

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  (732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765
  Replies (51) Good night (9537) Bad night (1014)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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  (225): Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it http://tfl.nu/wgow
  Replies (8) Good night (1146) Bad night (750)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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  (336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt
  Replies (6) Good night (1885) Bad night (616)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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  (734): The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake. http://tfl.nu/3nh1
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (708)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.

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  (651): I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/6otb
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (510)
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  (619): View more from California

  I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.

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  (619): I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth. http://tfl.nu/xt4j
  Replies (9) Good night (1398) Bad night (309)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes

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  (608): We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes http://tfl.nu/pi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (264)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.

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  (778): Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed. http://tfl.nu/26ft
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (307)
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  (055): View more from

  Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore

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  (055): Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore http://tfl.nu/06vj
  Replies (5) Good night (519) Bad night (227)

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