dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's shark week go big or go home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???