dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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