my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
