I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
