Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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