3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
