This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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