my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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