He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
