Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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