Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
