i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
