I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
