I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
