Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
