Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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