thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
