In the future we'll all be gay
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
