i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
