Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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