Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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