I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
